I love reading theology. I borrowed a book from a pastor I work with called "Theology for the Community of God". I swear this book is 1000 pages long and stuffed full of things that sometime make my head hurt. But if I had the choice somedays I could sit and read theology all day long. Most mornings I read my Bible then spend a little bit of time reading theology which usually ends up blowing my mind and making me realize how huge God is and how small I am.
This morning I was reading about the divinity of Jesus. Basically how Jesus is God even though he was flesh and blood and walked on the earth 2000 years ago. Couple things stuck out to me as I was reading. First, Jesus is God but never once used his power for selfish reasons on the earth. And he had chances to do that too. He could have destroyed the Pharisees, or made himself rich and famous, taken himself off the cross, killed his enemies, etc. But so often Jesus "put aside" his divinity or "God-ness" and instead relied on God the Father for his strength and power. And I think there are a few reasons for this.
1. Jesus wanted to show us how to live on reliance of God. People always say "What Would Jesus Do" or tell Christians to just "be more like Jesus". And truthfully that is the goal of being a Christian. So Jesus did an amazing thing and modeled for us how to be a Christian. He lived on dependence of God the Father, frequently had alone time and prayer time, cared for sick and needy people, hung out with sinners, and basically showed us how to have the best possible friendship with God!
2. The fact that Jesus put aside his "God-ness" and relied on God the Father gives us a little sneak peak into the amazingness (made up word?) of the Trinity. I don't think I will ever understand the Trinity fully or get how God interacts as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit yet are one powerful God. But it is amazing seeing the relationship and community between each person of the Trinity. Jesus relied on the Father for his strength each day. The Father entrusted salvation and his plan for people with the Son. And the Spirit ministered to Jesus and went forth from him to his disciples! MIND-BLOWING!
So, I don't think I will ever fully understand who God is fully but it is amazing reading theology and learning little tidbits at a time. If you have never read a theology book, DO IT! It will change your life. There are words I don't understand and sometimes its confusing but that doesn't matter. Spending the time to dive in deep into who God is will blow your mind! DO IT!